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Psychologist Visit in Review

  • Posted on February 9, 2006 at 10:19 pm

I’ve never actually been to a psychologist before, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I went to his office onsite at work. Not sure I’ll do that again; I may opt to drive to his other office. It’s too hard to have to walk past people you know with a face that’s horribly red and splotchy from 30 minutes of crying and pretend that everything’s fine. And my face absolutely refused to calm down and my emotions refused to subside, so I ended up going home. Can you say “mental health day,” boys and girls?

Anyway, I think the session went very well. Partway through the half hour session, I realized that I should have done this years ago. I spilled everything, from my childhood to the present. This shouldn’t surprise anyone who knows me, because I’m very open about myself and my life. I have a homework assignment before my next appointment (which we’ll schedule for next week) to write a letter to my Pap. Through the whole session, he said that my strongest emotional reactions all related to the death of my grandfather in November. I didn’t get to say goodbye and I never got to tell him how much he meant to me. So, I guess it’s time to get past that.

Honestly, I never realized how many “issues” I have. A lot of things came out that I’ve been repressing for a long time. My work only covers 5 sessions and he feels that I will feel very different once we’ve gotten through those 5 sessions, but he can always refer me to someone if I require further care. He was very insightful and immediately picked up on things that I have only just recently come to understand myself. It was quite an interesting experience.

Unfortunately, once the flood gates were opened, my mind started churning and I started really processing things. The uncontrollable tears continued for HOURS, literally, even after I got home. I ended up laying down to take a nap just so I could turn them off, which helped, but I still feel tears welling up even now. My whole face hurt by the time I laid down, so I had a royal headache. Fortunately, everything seems to have simmered down now, even if the emotions are still boiling just beneath the surface. I should be fine to go to work tomorrow.

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