Yes, I’m back for more. By the way, did I happen to mention that I haven’t menstruated in 3 months? You know, just to add a little interest to the mix. No worries, I’m pretty sure it has to do with the pill that I switched to, since I haven’t had a period since I started on this new one (Yaz). I called the gynecologist and they said that it’s normal with this pill, but it sure doesn’t help my anxiety level to have that little irregularity hanging over my head. \ud83d\ude06 I’ll just continue buying a pregnancy test every month until everything comes back into balance, I guess.<\/p>\n
In other news, Dr. Steve really doesn’t want me to start school in August. I understand his reasoning and I agree with him, but I’m so bored and restless right now that I’m chomping at the bit. I’m hoping that if I get back into stitching more regularly, some of the restlessness will be alleviated. Hopefully. I’m also hoping to start school in October or November. The problem is that something has to give somewhere in order for me to have the time to devote to school. The Art Institute Online says to plan on spending 15-20 hours a week per class and you have to log in at least 4 days a week and provide meaningful interaction. Dr. Steve’s concern (rightly so) is that, with working full time and keeping up with One Star’s Light, I can’t manage to get to bed and get enough sleep every night as it is. So, where exactly am I going to come up with another 20 hours a week for my coursework? Touch\u00c3\u00a9.<\/p>\n
I had a good talk with Terry last the other night. I had a sudden crying jag as I laid down to go to sleep that just wouldn’t stop. My throat was swelling up, so I had to sit up so that I could breathe and swallow better. Poor Terry, he has to put up with so much sometimes and yet, never a complaint from him. I am truly blessed with such caring and kind family and friends. Anyway, we talked about how much I hate work right now. He thinks that it’s all symptomatic of my being so off-balance right now because he says that he’s seen how excited I can get about my work and what great work I do. He finds it hard to believe that I really dislike my job so much, but I am fairly overloaded. You see, I don’t know if you remember, but I’ve been trying to get out of my current position for several years now. Problem is, I do my job too well. And they have strapped us into a budget that allows for no extra headcount. I knew this year was going to be bad when I found out that they wouldn’t even allow room in the budget for the consultant that we were planning on bringing in to help take over some of my work. I still have 3\/4 of the fiscal year left to get through, so I’ll have to figure out some way of managing my stress better. I cannot tell you how many years in a row I have stated in my development plan that I need a stress management class. Deaf ears and blind eyes, it all falls upon.<\/p>\n
And it all falls back on the fact that I am too hard on myself. I am not satisfied with anything but my absolute best. I am my own worst critic. To be honest, I need to get a little better at not giving a da**. But the reality is that I have a Type A personality. My concern is that I’ve been like this for over 30 years. How do you reverse 30 years worth of behavior? How do you fight who you are at your very core? How do you change that? It seems very daunting at the moment. I think it’s time for me to go back and read my book on cognitive therapy again. The next battle is here.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Yes, I’m back for more. By the way, did I happen to mention that I haven’t menstruated in 3 months? You know, just to add a little interest to the mix. No worries, I’m pretty sure it has to do … Continue reading