No, I did not intend to be awake at 6:00 AM on a Sunday. *sigh* I had a particularly violent dream and I think I’m having a physical reaction to it. You see, my dreams have been a bit more vivid lately and I’m strongly connecting to some of them. To the point where I can really feel what I’m feeling in the dream (or what someone else was feeling, in this case). I mean vivid – technicolor. I can almost remember the feeling after I wake up and I wake up knowing that I felt it in the dream, and strongly. Crazy!<\/p>\n
Anyway, cross a violent dream with vivid feelings and apparently you get a severe stomach ache (which turned into an IBS attack) and uncontrollable fits of crying. I let the first few crying fits come through so I could get out some of that energy, but now I’m trying to keep a rein on it. Poor Terry is such a sweet and wonderful guy (cue another crying fit coming on). He woke up and starting rubbing my back and stuff. He doesn’t ask and I feel very badly that I woke him; he’s so supportive, though, and I just have an overwhelming sense of how much he loves me. I finally figured that I’m not going back to sleep anytime soon, so I’ll come downstairs, allow things to process, take a pill for my IBS and wait for things to settle down enough that I can go to sleep.<\/p>\n
I’ve had bad dreams before, but I have never had this kind of strong, physical reaction before now. I chalk it up to the fact that I could feel what it felt like for a person who was starting to die. That combination has never happened before. I suspect that part of it is my brain processing what people are thinking is Mary’s inevitable death. Part of the dream was that this woman was shot and wouldn’t die, even though she should have. So someone screamed at her to die and she started to drop like a limp marionette, but then she snapped back up into place, like she solidly refused the die. In turn, I felt what it was like to have the same thing happen to me. To have a fatal injury that started to kill me and to then snap back to life. Really weird.<\/p>\n
Gosh, I love my friend. And I really, Really, REALLY hate cancer! I’m tired of it robbing me of meaningful people in my life. As one website said, “Cancer sucks!”<\/p>\n
Okay, enough for now. I think I’m going to go back to bed soon. The IBS attack is starting to subside, as is the stomach pain and I’m feeling a bit like a zombie right now, which means hopefully I’m tired enough to get back to sleep. I’ll stay up for a few minutes more to make sure I don’t have another wave of IBS, then it’s la-la land for me! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
No, I did not intend to be awake at 6:00 AM on a Sunday. *sigh* I had a particularly violent dream and I think I’m having a physical reaction to it. You see, my dreams have been a bit more … Continue reading