Yet another great thought from a cyberboard…<\/p>\n
\nHere are some holiday tips when eating the christmas feast.<\/p>\n
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday
\nbuffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact,
\nif you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where
\nthey’re serving rum balls.<\/p>\n2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine
\nsingle-malt scotch, it’s rare. In fact, it’s even rarer
\nthan single-malt scotch. You can’t find it any other
\ntime of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has
\n10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going
\nto turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It’s a treat.
\nEnjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you
\nthink. It’s Christmas!<\/p>\n3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole
\npoint of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on.
\nMake a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with
\ngravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat as many times as you feel
\nis nessessary.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with
\nskim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother?
\nIt’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.<\/p>\n5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort
\nto control your eating. The whole point of going to a
\nChristmas party is to eat other people’s food for free.
\nLots of it. Hello?<\/p>\n6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now
\nand New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have
\nnothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which
\nyou’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying
\na 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.<\/p>\n7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table,
\nlike frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa,
\nposition yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as
\nyou can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like
\na beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re
\nnever going to see them again.<\/p>\n8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice
\nof each. Or, if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples
\nand one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get
\nto have more than one dessert? Labor Day?<\/p>\n9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with
\nthe mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all
\ncost. I mean, have SOME standards.<\/p>\n10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave
\nthe party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying
\nattention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is
\njust around the corner.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Yet another great thought from a cyberboard… Here are some holiday tips when eating the christmas feast. 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you … Continue reading