{"id":213,"date":"2006-07-08T19:08:35","date_gmt":"2006-07-08T23:08:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/52.52.55.152\/?p=213"},"modified":"2006-07-08T19:10:54","modified_gmt":"2006-07-08T23:10:54","slug":"the-ostrich","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jennamagee.com\/?p=213","title":{"rendered":"The Ostrich"},"content":{"rendered":"

\nA man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders.<\/p>\n

The man says, “I’ll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”<\/p>\n

“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.<\/p>\n

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will be $6.40 please,” and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.<\/p>\n

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, “I’ll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,” and the ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.”<\/p>\n

Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.<\/p>\n

This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. “The usual?” asks the waitress. “No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad,” says the man, “same for me,” says the ostrich.<\/p>\n

A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says, “That will be $12.62.” Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.<\/p>\n

The waitress can’t hold back her curiosity any longer. “Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?”<\/p>\n

“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”<\/p>\n

“That’s brilliant!” says the waitress. “Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”<\/p>\n

“That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.<\/p>\n

The waitress asks, “One other thing, sir, what’s with the ostrich?”<\/p>\n

The man sighs, pauses, and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say .”\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders. The man says, “I’ll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennamagee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/213"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennamagee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennamagee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennamagee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennamagee.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=213"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennamagee.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/213\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jennamagee.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=213"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennamagee.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=213"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jennamagee.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=213"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}