This not being able to focus stuff is just really getting on my nerves. Couple that with not getting a full night’s sleep and you have a recipe for failure. But, somehow, I am making it through.
I’m to the point where I’m amazed when I’m actually able to accomplish something. I feel like warning everyone that I’m absolutely useless today, but it’s not totally true. I may feel useless, but I’m pushing myself really hard to get things done, in spite of everything.
I see the psychiatrist this evening, but I’m not sure that it even matters, as I just received a letter that he is moving to another part of the country. I’m thinking that this could be a good thing. I wouldn’t mind starting from scratch with another doctor. I really don’t want to take any meds for the bipolar right now. I want to wean off of what I’m on, see if I can get my concentration, vision, weight and libido (sorry if that was TMI) back to normal and then maybe, MAYBE we can discuss trying me on a different medication.
We’ll see what the current doc says to that proposal. If he’s not amenable to my suggestion, then maybe the next one will be. It’s a good thing that I see Dr. Steve on Halloween because now I need a recommendation for a new doctor! Part of me is unhappy to have to start again, but part of me feels like I didn’t have the kind of rapport with this psychiatrist that I would have liked to have and is looking forward to trying again with someone else. Maybe I’ll find one who doesn’t feel like I have to be on meds for the bipolar, but will be willing to treat just the depression for now.
You could think that the patient would have right to decide on their treatment, right? 😯
And, even we have never met IRL I have to say that the bad effect those meds have on you is clearly visible – not to mention that you clearly suffer from the situation, the meds have caused.
I hope you can find someone in their right mind as your new psychiatrist.
(((Jenna)))
I agree with Outi….. This is the perfect chance to “shop around” for the right fit for you. Oh and, ((hugs)) for luck!
I agree too – this is a great opportunity to find someone who you have more of a connection with and who is on track with what you want to do. Hang in there girl. And if you need anything at all (even just to vent or talk), please email me or call!
It sounds to me like, big a hassle as it is, starting over with a new psychiatrist really is the right move to make. It’s been clear that the meds aren’t doing it for you – some other kind of approach is needed, and now you have a chance to find the right person. You take care, okay?
Wow, it really sounds the cure is worse than the condition! Yes, having to start over with someone new does sound as a blessing. I hope you find a great new psychiatrist. ((((hugs))))
I hope that you find someone who will really listen to you and work with you to achieve something that works better for you.
You have been quite busy with your stitching. I love your flanged pillow, it turned out so pretty.
Take it easy on yourself, Jenna, as you begin the whole process again. Hugs. 🙂