A Funny From Lelia

I was cleaning out my Inbox today, which some of you may have noticed because I suddenly responded to old comments or emails, and I stumbled across this gem from Lelia. Too funny! And I hope no one will think this is offensive. I have nothing against alternative lifestyles… in fact, I have several gay friends whom I adore!

Rancher’s Wife

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the
newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher’s widow said to the hired hand, “you
have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels.

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o’clock came, however, and he didn’t return. Two o’clock, and no hired hand.

He returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the house, he found the rancher’s widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her. “Unbutton my blouse and take it off,” she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.

“Now take off my boots.” He did as she asked, ever so slowly. “Now take off my socks.” He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

“Now take off my skirt.” He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. “Now take off my bra.” Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. “Now,” she said, “take off my panties.” By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off. Then she looked at him and said, “If you ever wear my clothes
into town again, you’re fired.”

About Jenna Magee

IT professional, needleworker, editor/proofreader, author, singer, musician.
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4 Responses to A Funny From Lelia

  1. Kim says:

    Oh MY… Now that was FUNNY… If you don’t mind I’m going to “borrow” it and send it to my hubby. LOL He will get a good laugh from it. 😀

    Thanks for stopping by w/ comments I appreciate it! And, yes, the mechanics place is going to pay to replace the button. I had to argue a bit w/ them about it, but fortunately they seem to be one of the few places that do believe in good customer service. 🙂

    Thanks again for the chuckle!!

  2. LeliaEvelyn says:

    Guilty! Yes — love my name in lights … LOL

    Jenna – thanks for asking, Tori is home later today. I am just a nut-case. I cleaned everything in her room … at least twice – like Martha Stewart is visiting or something. And, btw, Tori will probably just SLEEP here & be on the GO-GO-GO while ‘home’. She has a ton of stuff to do in the next few days (along with shifts at Subway) but, will be fun to have her bursting thru the door.

    I need to head over to the grocery store & I dread it. Usually DH shops for the groceries. I wanted some fresh fruit in the house …. SEE, maybe Martha Stewart is visiting? lol. Enjoy the day.

  3. Barbara says:

    Oh you naughty girl! I will have to share this with my Mom – she’ll laugh so hard I’ll hear her here!

  4. AnneS says:

    Hahaha, that cracks me up!! Been away from reading blogs for a few days, so that joke was a nice pick-me-up … and especially appropriate, as it probably relates to at least half of my neighbourhood – I live in the next suburb over from an extremely gay suburb here, St Kilda … one of the gay guys at work last night was commenting it’s sooooo gay, even the dogs are gay! A few of my friends are gay too, so I might just have to do a copy and paste job and forward that one on LOL.

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