Where Have I Been?

I’m still here, mostly. I’m still trying to climb up the side of this pit of depression that I’m stuck in. I’m not at the bottom of the pit, but I’m definitely not at the top, either. I’m somewhere in the middle, perhaps.

I sleep all the time now. I think I use it as an escape, honestly. I sleep pretty much when I’m not at work. Work is slowly getting better, with more to do in my new position and recently a bit of work to do in my old position, as well.

I’m fighting a UTI, trying to flush lots of water through my system during the day (you know, when I’m not asleep). That does seem to be doing the trick, so hopefully no doctor visit or antibiotics will be needed. Yay!

I haven’t stitched in over a week (see above reference to my sleeping patterns). In fact, I sometimes sleep from the time we get home until it’s time to go to bed. I even miss dinner at times. It’s just a difficult place for me to be right now. I really wish there would be more sunshine, but that only helps so much. I know I’m supposed to be exercising and that’s supposed to help, according to my therapist (and it actually does), but if I can’t even motivate myself to stay awake, how the heck am I going to motivate myself to exercise?

Ahhhh… the vicious cycle in all its glory.

About Jenna Magee

IT professional, needleworker, editor/proofreader, author, singer, musician.
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16 Responses to Where Have I Been?

  1. Barbara says:

    I don’t want to sound like a Buttinsky but … you really need to force yourself to do something else. Sleeping is a way of hiding out and you know it’s not the right path to take. I know (really, I do) how hard it is to tear yourself away from the comfort, security, blankness that sleep offers … but you have to do it. And you can!! You’ve got tons of strength and courage – and you have Terry and other great sources of support.

  2. Kendra says:

    I find myself wanting to sleep a whole lot more now than even a couple months ago. My sleep pattern got all messed up when we were gone for Thanksgiving, it got even worse for Christmas, and now I just can’t get it shifted back to where it needs to be. I’m a night owl, so it’s hard for me to go to bed “early” and *very* hard for me to get up early…so I’ve been staying up too late, not getting enough sleep, getting up early to take the kiddo to school, and end up crashing in the afternoon. And it seems to be a never-ending cycle.

    I hope you get to feeling better soon!

  3. Jennifer says:

    Try to get at least a little sunlight / daylight every day. If you have a stitching lamp that has the daylight bulbs, see if sitting under that for a few minutes a day will help.

    Also, for the UTI, cranberry pills will help (sometimes juices have too much sugar in them) Also, I’ve read that yogurt with active cultures can help as well.

  4. Christine S says:

    Jenna, have you had your thryoid checked? Your fatigue sounds like a symptom of hypothyroidism. I remember having days when I would come home from work, go to sleep without eating and sleep until the next morning. I think it would be a good idea if you talked to your doctor about this possibility.

  5. Angela says:

    Thank you for posting! I missed hearing from you and was worried.
    ((HUGS)))

  6. Meari says:

    ((hugs)) Jenna. I agree with Barbara… Try to make yourself do a little something. They say exercise helps. Get on the Gazelle, girlfriend. 🙂 I really do hope you’re feeling better soon.

  7. Coral says:

    Oh, sweetie!! Just try to get 15 mins of excercise before you crash when you get home. It will help, and you can chat to Terry whilst you are doing it – he will love that!

    Sending you positive beams >>>>>> – do you feel them?

    xxxxx

  8. Heidi says:

    Jenna, I know its difficult sometimes. I had the same bad sleeping habits awhile back and really it was all depression. I find it hard to make myself workout too but I try walking as much as possible to help keep me awake and going throughout the day. I hope you are feeling better soon. 🙂

  9. Anne S says:

    I’m sorry you’re having it so rough right now, sweetie – I’m hoping you can kick this depression in the guts soon, and get some of your old self back again. While I know it’s really hard, I have to agree with Barbara – she’s always full of exceptionally good advice, and while it’s really difficult to drag yourself up and out, it’ll be worth it in the long run. In the meantime you’ve got some positive {{{vibes}}} and {{{hugs}}} heading over your way! Hang in there kiddo! xx

  10. Sharon says:

    Thinking of you! Things will get better-sending you positive vibes. {{{hugs}}}

  11. Michelle says:

    Try cranberry juice too, that should help. Big hugs – I know what it’s like to be in that place. I hope that every day brings a little more progress out of the pit!

  12. cearra says:

    Hi Jenna,
    I have a chronic illness, and it annoys me to no end when friends/family/acquaintances present me with yet another “miracle” treatment or “cure” for my illness.

    However, I did read something that you may want to look into if you haven’t already. http://tinyurl.com/2utv78
    There is also a book written on the same subject, but I can’t locate the title.

    I’m shutting up now. 🙂
    cearra

  13. Karin says:

    Just wanted to send some good thoughts your way – hope that things are getting better for you.

  14. Laura says:

    Oh, dear Jenna. I hope you’re starting to feel at least a tiny bit better, though you haven’t been blogging, and that doesn’t seem like a good sign. Wish I could help. Hugs.

  15. Anne R says:

    Still nothing from Jenna… *sigh*

    Hang in there, girl! You’ll be able to get out of that pit, I’m sure! (At least I sincerely hope so, as my hubby is kind of on your path, and I certainly hope you both get better soon!)

    ((((((((HUGS))))))))

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